My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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