she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
