his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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