summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
