dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
