No, you can still breathe under the balls.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
