I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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