We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
