Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
