God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
