My friends, they love my intelligence
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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