ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we made out on top of his cat.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
