is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Couch. On fire.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
