I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
