Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
