You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
