I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The adults are the big ones right?
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