A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
