got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
