i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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