Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
