I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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