Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
