OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
