Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
