i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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