he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
