It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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