Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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