Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
