Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
