Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
