I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Apparently you make a good broom.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize