You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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