your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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