i think my tv is drunk
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All I want is dick and wine.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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