i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize