Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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