is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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