I think I am morally bankrupt
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
