the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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