I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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