SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
