I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
