She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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