It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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