today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
The air taste purple.
Randomize
