don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize