You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
