dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
