My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
