i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
