OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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