Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
