i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
