i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
