South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
