I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
