can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
